CALIFORNIA EARTHQUAKE(S) 7/7/2010 BY FARLEY MALORRUS

310-415-9222 for CONTACT.
I'm Farley Malorrus, World Famous for Earthquake Predictions using Astrology. THE SWARM of CALIFORNIA Earthquakes occurring this year in 2010 is NO MISTAKE. Just the beginning in fact of much bigger, longer, and more intense quakes going into 2011. THE PLANET URANUS and the PLANET SATURN are OPPOSITE EACH other in the Universe right now, for a while and this creates HAVOC with Earth plates and shelves. Especially the 'ring of fire,' where California is hitched. Sadly, I was able to accurately predict the KOBE and Northridge quakes both within 24 hours. AT THis time, all I can say is "it's Earthquake Season" in Calfifornia and anything goes. I'm hoping a major city like Los Angeles, San Diego, or San Francisco won't be damaged by these quakes but anything is possible. Earthquake insurance is a lotto, actually with only the losers at the epicenter being covered. IT's a huge state, and the Earthquake insurance folks make a ton of money on paranoia.
What I would do is be aware that the Quake season is here; don't be caught off guard; don't be shocked, and look for the BIG ONE, as perhaps 7.1 is not being too pessimistic as to what we could expect.
BLess us all.
FARLEY MALORRUS 7/7/2010

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FARLEY MALORRUS

OBAMA WINS IN A LANDSLIDE I THINK

OBAMA WINS IN A LANDSLIDE I THINK
By Farley Malorrus, www.radioastrology.com
Hello Everyone, Farley Malorrus here...
HAPPY ELECTION DAY!
We are in the middle of a FIERCE SCORPIO MOON WOBBLE and even though the PITTSBURGH STEELERS UPSET the Washington Redskins, which means after 17 elections that OBAMA WILL WIN and that the incumbent party of the White House will lose..

Still Considering the Mess of the last 2 elections, and the FACT I don't trust the American Political System, or the American Judicial System, with the Moon Wobble, I have some serious objections to what the results of tomorrows elections will be as to whether IT WOULD EVEN BE FAIR OR ACCURATE.
I don't care for the "electoral college," situation in the first place, and wonder if we even still have a democracy since George Bush took office.

Astrologically, a LEO is what we need right now (OBAMA) which means leadership in Astrology (Like Clinton), and someone to guide us into a state of balance from the awful imbalance of the Republican administration from the last 8 years (no offense as I feel Bush did his best.)

The planets are plain weird..Jupiter Moon Eclipse in Capricorn, Mars Sun in Scorpio, Pluto headed for Capricorn any day now for 20 years (United States having it's 1st Pluto Return could be interesting..)

Really, I hope the best for both candidates and the USA, but I just smell something rotten in Denmark (THE US)....Astrologically OBAMA should WIN, but to be honest, because I feel the game is rigged and because of all the Astrological afflictions as mentioned above, that McCAIN may walk away with it, due to a miscount, recount, or another Supreme Court ruling. THe TRUTH is OBAMA should win in a LANDSLIDE and if he does JUSTICE AND DEMOCRACY is restored....but if McCain wins in a cheat, I shudder to think what might happen should he die the next 4 years, Palin is President and we have a MAJOR WORLD CRISIS (MAYAN PROPHECY 2012)...
I LOVE YOU ALL.
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FARLEY MALORRUS

ALQAEDAWINSWAR

The War is OVER, AL QAEDA HAS WON
BY FARLEY MALORRUS
www.radioastrology.com

CONGRATULATIONS to George Bush and his cronies for losing the War against Al Qaeda, and allowing "Them" to bring America to it's knees.

With 6 days of triple digit losses in the Stock Market, bringing total damage to American Wealth to now 8.33 Trillion, and with the BAIL OUT GIVING MONEY TO THE GANGSTER CORPORATIONS (AIG) and others who created this MESS, INSTEAD OF GIVING The 8.33 TRILLION dollars the American public has lost since last year, the BUSH ADMINISTRATION has done it's deed by destroying America from within, using the War as a smokescreen.
WHo is the villain here? I would assume GEORGE BUSH SHOULD BE IMPEACHED for near 100's of acts of money misappropriation, and for carrying on an illegal war which has served as an excellent distraction to the destruction of the American Economy.

How is it that RICH CONGRESSMEN and WOMEN, and The Wealthy President of the United States can take care of their own money and their own wealth, but THROW THE USA into a 53 Trillion dollar loss since BUSH was elected?

WHo the heck voted for this guy? ANyone wish to admit it?

I suggest www.rednecksforobama.net for some comic relief and LOGIC.

As to what we do now?
Heck, stock up on bottled water, food, spare cash, gold if you can afford it, ammo for your weapons, rechargeable spotlights, a generator, and plenty of wood for your fireplace, as the old USA aint what it used to be, pardon my French.

This is Farley Malorrus from www.radioastrology.com

That's THE WORLD AS I SEE IT...

RADIOASTROLOGY

Welcome to the Journal from Farley Malorrus ALL ABOUT ASTROLOGY, THE WORLD, SPIRITUALITY, METAPHYSICS, CONCEPTS OF KARMA, and anything PARANORMAL.

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FARLEY MALORRUS
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INTUITIVE LOOK AT THE FUTURE If McCain Pallin win, or if OBAMA BIDEN win..By Farley Malorrus

My TAKE on McCain, Obama, Pallin, and Biden, Spiritually from a non partison independent, who is quite intuitive..

unscripted

www.radioastrology.com

 

Tags: Pallin Biden Debate, McCain Obama Debate, End of Democracy, Communisn in U.S., New World Order, Smokescreen and fooling Americans

U.S. Government, President, Congress Gone MAD, PLEASE READ AND FORWARD to as many as Possible!

UPDATE: 9/29/08

700 Billion Bailout FAILS, VOTED DOWN BY HOUSE REPUBLICANS fearing LOSING ELECTIONS IN NOVEMBER...

"THE people are the ones who need the money, NOT THE CORPORATIONS." I'll stand by that statement.
Farley Malorrus

 

(You would think they were TRYING TO CREATE AN APOCALYPSE and the END OF THE WORLD. I SAY THEE NAY!!!)

Has the U.S. Government Gone Mad? Dr. Phil says, "Bullsh*t" about the bail out on Letterman..I say FIRE THEM ALL. Read this and FORWARD TO AS MANY AS POSSIBLE. FIRE THE POLITICIANS. NO MORE INCUMBANTS! YOU'RE FIRED.

THE US GOVERNMENT IS CRAZY, BUSH GONE MAD, CONGRESS INSANE
700 BILLION TO THE PEOPLE NOT

CORPORATIONS YOU IDIOTS
By Farley Malorrus
farleyastrology. com


Not to Criticize, I AM A PATRIOT, but this GOVERNEMENT, PRESIDENT, and CONGRESS ARE NUTSO,INSANE, WACKO, LUNATICS, OUT OF THEIR MINDS, RETARDED, SICK, and A BUNCH OF CROOKS WITH NO BRAINS.
(NO OFFENSE)!!!

WE NEED TO GIVE THE 700 BILLION to the 4.
7 million UNEMPLOYED, and ALL THOSE HOMEOWNERS in FORECLOSURE TO PAY THEIR FREAKING MORTGAGES and FIX THE MORTGAGE COMPANIES from the BOTTOM UP, not from the RICH DOWN!

WHO'S CHAIN YOU YANKING DUBYA? YOU KIDDING ME?
IN an economy this sick you need CITIZENS TO SPEND MONEY, SO YOU GIVE THE ONES WHO NEED IT, FORECLOSED HOMEOWNERS, HOMELESS, UNEMPLOYED, the 700 BILLION, and let them feed whatever CORPORATIONS THEY CHOOSE, not what BIG GOVERNMENT CHOOSES BLOCKHEADS. I'm TICKED OFF, as THIS IS NOT A CURE THEY OFFER, IT IS PURE DISASTER, and should they give Money to the Corporations, they might as well blow it out the window. PEOPLE NEED HELP NOT CORPORATIONS DODO BIRD.


WILL SOMEONE HELP ME OUT HERE? THEWORLD IS GONE MAD, and THE LEADERS ARE INSANE.


PEOPLE NEED MONEY.

HELLO? ANYONE OUT THERE LISTENING TO ME?
PEOPLE NEED MONEY.

SEND EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN "IN NEED" $35,000 each, to PAY UP THEIR BILLS, MORTGAGES, AND INSURANCE COMPANIES to keep them alive.

YOU GIVE THE MONEY TO THE SHOPPERS NOT THE SELLERS IDIOTS!!!

Arrrrggghhhhhh...IT drivesme MAD how the American PUBLIC SWALLOWS THIS BULLSH*T AND HOW THEY JUST LET THIS CORRUPT, INSANE GOVERNMENT DO AS THEY PLEASE, getting ready to put yet ANOTHER PAIR OF ORANGUTANGS IN OFFICE, to throw the U.S back into the 3rd WORLD SO THAT THE AL QUAEDA, BIN LADEN, and all the "So called Terrorists" will win the War. Their Plan, BANKRUPT THE U.S.A.
, and throw us all into a DEPRESSION!

GIVE THE MONEY TO THE UNEMPLOYED, HOMELESS, and THOSE WHOM ARE BEING FORECLOSED not the STUPID CORPORATIONS WHO DON'T HAVE A CLUE and who have been RIPPING US ALL OFF FOR YEARS (AIG TOOK $150,000 OVER what my Dad's life insurance policy, they are theives, and the US wants to GIVE THEM MONEY)

THIS IS LUNACY..

WHAT'S NEXT IN THIS CIRCUS CALLED LIFE.

SOMEONE HELP ME OUT HERE, the WORLD HAS GONE MAD..
GIVE THE MONEY TO THE PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, not the CORPORATIONS you IDIOTIC, MORONIC excuses for LEADERSHIP.


I SAY FIRE THEM ALL.

NO INCUMBENTS ALLOWED NEXT TERM. YOU ARE ALL FIRED.

NEW LEADERSHIP FOR A BRIGHT FUTURE.

IF OBAMA WINS, and SOMEONE SHOOTS HIM, it will make RODNEY KING LOOK LIKE A JOKE. WE ARE TALKING REVOLUTION HERE IF SOMEONE HARMS THAT MAN. PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS! IT'S CRITICAL TO THE SAFETY and FUTURE OF THE USA.

I'm OUT.

FARLEY MALORRUS
www. radioastrology. com

Have a nice day. Yeah right, $700,000,000,000 to Corporations, and I quote Dr. Phil on David Letterman, It's BULLSH*T.


THIS COUNTRY HAS GONE TO THE DOGS!!! SOMEONE HELP US!
PLEASE POST AND FORWARD THIS IN YOUR BULLETIN BOARDS TO AS MANY PEOPLE WHO WILL READ IT, SO THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS WE ARE NOT STONED, DRUNK, OR STUPID, ENOUGH TO FALL FOR SUCH A DUMB PLAN FOR 'RECOVERY.' RECOVERY FOR WHO, MR. BIG? GIVE ME A BREAK.

FORWARD THIS! THANKS.
FARLEY MALORRUS
310-415-9222 IF YOU NEED ME.

Tags: GREAT DEPRESSION of 2008, <ATARGET=_BLANK rel="tag" href="http://technorati.com/tag/BUSH+GONE+MAD">BUSH GONE MAD, U.S GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION, INSANE LEADERSHIP, NEWS, POLITICS, PALIN, MCain, BUSH, BIDEN, SEX, Democrats, Republicans, INSANITY, LUNACY, IDIOCRACY, MORONS

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ZEITGEIST & HOW TO LEARN ASTROLOGY, ASTROLOGY AUDIO TOPICS BY FARLEY MALORRUS

NOT FOR THE SQUEEMISH, ZEITGEIST......FOOD FOR THOUGHT.
A FILM ALMOST 2 HOURS LONG, so sit back and Relax...It's amazing...
Like I said, "FOOD FOR THOUGHT," ZEITGEIST.....

Brought to you by www.radioastrology.com & Farley Malorrus...TONS OF ASTROLOGY AUDIO TOPICS COMMERCIAL FREE...

The Scorpio Factor	In Touch With Higher Self		Crystal Consciousness
House Cusps	Issues of Karma		Crystals and Numbers
The Mutables	The Creation of Karma		Meditation with Celestite
Exaltation and Fall	KarmicSalvation		Advanced Celestite
Significant Karmic Aspects	Metaphysics of Karma		Entities Exorcism and Possession
Zones of Karma	Metaphysical Bible		Extra-Terrestrial Souls
Learning to Love Your Chart	Letting Spirit Guide You		Our Origins
Power Patterns	Letting Go		Interpreting Dreams
Completion	Life Reconstruction		Light and Color
Astrological Signatures	Miracles		The Awakening - I
Astrology as a Lifestyle	New Age Heralds		The Awakening - II
Astrology Mantra	Pain Rebirth and Evolution		The Awakening - III
Astrology vs. Astronomy	Path of the Soul		The No Family
Descendant and 7th House	Perfect Universe		Family
Planetary Lords	Personal Karma		Journeys Out of the Body
How To Learn Astrology-Sabian Symbols	Positives vs. Negatives		Deception
Sabian Symbols	Power of God		Bravery-Gallant Quest
Earning Degrees – Sabian Symbols	Rebirth and Spirit		Breath Bliss
The Astrological Effect	Road to Consciousness		Game of Life
Libra Factor--Balance	Scorpio and Spiritual Rebirth		Living in the Past
Mother, Father in the Chart	Spirit Guides		How To Simplify Your Life
Zodiac Synchronization - I	Soul Contracts		Molding Your Future
	Soul Growth		Quality of Life

Tags: Astrology Radio, Radio Astrology, radioastrology.com, Farley Malorrus, How to Learn Astrology, ASTROLOGY AUDIO TOPICS, ASTROLOGY IPOD, ASTROLOGY ICAST, FREE ASTROLOGY EBOOK, Astrology

ASTROLOGY ON NET RADIO BY DONATION BY FARLEY MALORRUS, CLICK ON ANY TOPIC, ENJOY

Astrology – Transits	The Soul's Web		One Day at a Time
How to Follow your Transits	Spirit Vacation		Ideas and Innovation
Astrology Transits	Spiritual Awakening		Let Me Count the Ways
The Transit	Spiritual Qualification		Keeping a Positive Attitude
Transits of the Moon	Spiritual Revelations		Reversals
Transiting Moon Through Life	State of Bliss		Self Realization
How to Follow the Moon	The Illusion of Separation		Skeptics
Chart on Fire	The Quest		Visualization
Mercury Retrograde	The Warrior Complex		How to Make Money
Retrograde vs. Direct	This Karma Called Life		The Edge Financially
Transiting Planets	Transcendental Astrology		Techno-Shock
Transit Trines	Transcendental Lifestyle		Left Handed People
Transit Aspects	Transitions		<FONTSIZE=-1>Nomads
Cardinal Transits	With Regard to the Spirit		The Unemployed Priest
Solar Return
Saturn Return	Astrology - Compatibility
Transit Diaries	Fun with Compatibility
Transit Karma	Ascendant Compatibility
Transit Deadlines	Soul Mate Factors
Gemini Transits	Compatibility-Moon Venus Mars
Jupiter in Cancer	Karma and Planetary Comparison
The Transits of Uranus	House Vibrations and Relationships
Long Transits in Life	Astrological Addictions-Relationships
Power Transits	Compatibility - The Cardinals
Moon Wobble Peak	Understanding Women

ASTROLOGICAL METAPHYSICAL RADIO RIGHT HERE ON THE INTERNET. CLICK ON ANY TOPIC ABOVE TO ENJOY A SHOW!

Tags: RADIO ASTROLOGY, RADIOASTROLOGY, ASTROLOGY RADIO, FARLEY MALORRUS, ASTROLOGY TOPICS, HOW TO LEARN ASTROLOGY, ASTROLOGY

BENEFITS OF LICORICE, 100 things ALL MEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

 



100 THINGS ALL MEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
Posted in IN GENERAL on Jan 25, 2007 at 12:45 PM

100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Main Reason: To avoid going out with you. And remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you.

99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line.

98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can’t get a hard-on she assumes you’re not attracted to her.

97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.

96. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift.

95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.

94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.

93. Girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they’re talking about, are not.

92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she’s most fertile.

91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.

90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.

89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.

88. “If I give you my number on Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday are your best bets to score a date. Monday is too desperate, Thursday is too late.”—Claire, 27

87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.

86. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard.

85. A recent study revealed that natural blondes could be extinct in 200 years, so unless she’s Norwegian, her towhead might be bottled.

84. Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute—scientific proof most women are decent in bed.

83. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.

82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.

81. The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship.

80. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they’ll take it.

79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.

78. “I hate when my boyfriend is sweaty and tries to lie down on top of me or cuddle after I’ve come. Wait five minutes.”—Erin, 21

77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.

76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.

75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.

74. “Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding themselves. They’re trying to keep him happy with some controlled freedom.”—Suzy, 31

73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.

72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice.

71. “Women grow hairs in a lot of the same places that men do—lower abdomen, nipples—we just get rid of them.”—Katie, 26

70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians . . . she still won't approve.

69. If you have something to hide, she’ll find it.

68. Eighty-five: The number of males per 100 females in Gary, Indiana, lowest male-to-female ratio of any city with a population of 100,000-plus. The highest male-to-female ratio is in Salinas, California: 114 males for every 100 females.

67. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.”

66. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.

65. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win. The best way . . . be honest with her and dump her.

64. An online dating service’s survey found that a woman’s ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes.

63. In the U.S., 21 percent of women ages 18 to 59 hold out for their honeymoon.

62. A British study claims a woman’s chances of getting married drop by 40 percent for every 16-point rise in her IQ. The same increase in IQ for a man boosted his chances of getting married by 35 percent.

61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.

60. Women often cite manhandling of breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.

59. “When I’m drunk, I can’t come. Not even with a vibrator.”—Lauren, 35

58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.

57. Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash.

56. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year.

54. A woman might say she just wants sex, but sleep with her for a while and she’ll change her tune. “I’ve known so many women who think they can pull this off, but they always develop feelings for the guy,” says Evie, 22.

53. According to the American Association of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, Angelina Jolie’s lips were the most requested celebrity feature among all female patients in 2004.

52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.

51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed.

50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.

49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.

48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.

47. According to the U.S. Bureau of Statistics, 23 percent of 18- to 34-year-old women live with their parents, versus 31 percent of you losers.

46. Women want to talk dirty, but they’re afraid you won’t respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed doesn’t make her less classy and she’ll probably go wild. Jäger helps.

45. Twenty-three percent of Maxim magazine readers are women.

44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal.

41. If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it might mean she no longer cares what you think of her and she already has what she wants, your money. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about someone else’s opinion.

40. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.

39. It never hurts to say you're sorry, even if you don't mean it.

38. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.

37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.

36. “At one point or another, I’ve gone through your things looking for any evidence from past relationships. I’m talking photographs, postcards, mementos, address books, diaries. If you don’t like it, get rid of this stuff before letting me in your apartment. It’s not about trust; it’s about curiosity, and it drives us crazy till it’s been satiated.”—Caroline, 28

35. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.

34. Chick rock strikes a deeply primal chord inside women while simultaneously revolting men. Just sit back and let her sing the Sarah McLachlan or Ani DiFranco song. It’s only about four minutes long.

33. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing. Shasta!

32. Girls will not sit on any toilet outside their own home or a five-star hotel. Everywhere else they’re hovering above the toilet in a squat.

31. Got a new girl coming over? Your (tidy) bathroom should include clean linen, a box of Puffs Plus, and several full rolls of TP.

30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21

29. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.

28. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? C-cup. As if you didn’t know.

27. Gain her trust when you’re out by calling her at 10 P.M. She’ll go to bed content you’re thinking of her, even if you’re slurping Jell-O shots off some skank’s cleavage.

26. Put down the Drakkar and grab a box of Good & Plenty. Women are turned on by the scent of black licorice.

25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.

24. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements.

23. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often.

22. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

21. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.

20. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.

19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.

18. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it.

17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.

16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.

15. Girls don’t want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys.

14. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see—she'll just want to leave early.

13. “Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesn’t give you an excuse to suck at foreplay.”—Elena, 28

12. Studies show women are more attracted to “macho” guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, they’re drawn to “good providers,” otherwise known as chumps.

11. She likes one of your friends.

10. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.

9. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

8. Sixty percent of women in the United States color their hair, according to L’Oréal (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 40 percent).

7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.

6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.)

5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.

4. Foghat’s “Slow Ride” is not about a trip in the car. Get the hint?

3. The one breakup line she’ll never be able to argue you out of: “I’m sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.”

2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.

1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.

Licorice

   FROM: http://www.womens-health-symmetry.com/licorice.html

Licorice is a perennial herb native to southern Europe, Asia and the Mediterranean.

The herb is extensively cultivated in Russia, Spain, Iran and India.

Licorice is one of the most popular and widely consumed herbs in the world.

Although many know this herb for its flavoring in candy, licorice is believed to contains many health benefits.

Ancient cultures on every continent have used licorice, with the first recorded use by the Egyptians in the 3rd century BC.

The Egyptians and the Greeks recognized the licorice herb's benefits in treating coughs and lung disease.

Licorice is the second most prescribed herb in China followed by ginseng, it is suggested for dealing with the spleen, liver and kidney.

The Japanese use a licorice preparation to control hepatitis.

The most common medical use for licorice is for supporting upper respiratory track health.

The main constituent found in the root is glycyrrhizin. The plant also contains various sugars (14%), starches (30%), flavonoids, saponoids, sterols, amino acids, gums, and essential oil. Glycyrrhizin, stimulates the secretion of the adrenal cortex hormone aldosterone.

Licorice is effective as a cough suppressant. Licorice rhizomes have a high mucilage content which, when mixed with water or used in cough drops, soothe mucous membranes.

Licorice apparently also has an expectorant effect which increases the secretion of the bronchial glands.

Licorice is thought to be an effective to soothe throat, lung, and bronchial membranes.

Homeopathic use of licorice for gastric irritation dates back to the first century.

Today, herbal preparations are used to support the digestive system.

Rarely used alone, licorice is a common component of many herbal teas as mild laxative, a diuretic, and for flatulence.

Licorice has also been known to soothe joints and support normal blood sugar.

The licorice root extract produces mild estrogenic effects, and it has proven useful in supporting stress of menopause and menstruation.

The constituent glycyrrhizin is 50 times sweeter than sugar, making it a widely used ingredient in the food industry.

The distinctive flavor of licorice makes it a popular additive to baked confections, liqueurs, ice cream and candies.

Licorice is also widely used in medicines to mask bitter tastes and also to prevent pills from sticking together.

Licorice has also been used in poultices for control of dermatitis and skin infections. It helps to open the pores and is used in combination with other cleansing and healing herbs as an emollient.

Common Use: Licorice is an ingredient in many cough medicines and a popular and well known remedy for bronchial distress. Licorice can have a beneficial effect on digestive processes.

Tags: Licorice is GOOD STUFF Ohy yeah!

FOR ADULTS ONLY, MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE & the Facts of LIfe with Farley Malorrus

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NEW AIR CAR SHOWN BY FARLEY MALORRUS

FROM RADIOASTROLOGY.COM

FIFTH PANZER-"DEFECTION," Copyright 2007/2008, FARLEY MALORRUS

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, COPYRIGHT, 2007, FARLEY MALORRUS "DEFECTION" Chapter......(FIFTH PANZER, A NOVEL I AM WRITING) FLASHBACK BY COLONEL BAKER C COMPANY BEFORE CROSSING INTO GERMANY..... "It was late morning and the foggy myst wore off...I could hear the sound of tanks in the distance. It sounded like a stampede of 1000 horses. The men were spent but frisky, and although we had no tank support, we did have artillery, and attitude. The column got closer, and eventually shadows could be seen over the horizon of their approach. It looked like a company or maybe a division. We had 120 men, exhausted, tired, and mentally freaked out from the previous 4 days of non stop battle. 300 of our guys dead. The order was given to "Lock and Load." With tank traps set, mines placed, snipers in place, bazookas in the trees, and artillery on call so we watched and waited........The tanks stopped, as did the rest of the approaching German battalian.The silence was eery. Sorely outnumbered, without radio, and cornered in a ravine, I knew nothing else to do but sweat in 40 degree weather, and Pray. The tanks opened fire, as the sound of 88's roared, and started to pound us. A decision had to be made, as we were spotted. Cut and run or fight...." "I called in the spot, and the Artillery opened up like the Gates of Hell itself had opened. I saw most of my guys trying to keep their heads down, as the German Regiment opened up on us and scattered. I couldn't understand why they stopped, they paused, and seemed to just stare at us...It was a conundrum....."DEFECTION) CURRENT TIME "Vat iz Zis? The Commander ist Dead? Rommel ist Dead? VAS? Nein, NEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZIS CANNOT BE TRUE? HOW DID ZIS HAPPEN???????????? OUR COMMANDER KILLED BY THE FUHRER?" "It is true, Rommel was forced to take poison when Hitler found out he was in on the assassination attempt, in fact, set up to be the new President of a Democratic Germany. Rommel's family was threatened if he insisted on a trial; he had no choice to save his beloved wife and son. It was fast, as they drove off he drank the cyanide, died in seconds, and buried with all Military Honor......Erwin Rommel, the "Desert Fox," The "Hero of Germany," the man responsible for the Invasion of Europe and Africa is dead, by Hitlers cronies. (Pregnant pause as General Von Brandt sinks deep into introspection) "Bring ze high command of the Battlion to my tent immediately. We are holding the south flank of defense right now, but the men must know..."  ( (

Farley Malorrus Dancing to Super Tramp Recent

"Men, our leader, Rommel, is dead, at Hitlers hand. The truth will spread through the camp as it has like lightning. As a Prussian, like the Field Marshall, this does not bode well for us. My choice to you is grim and deadly.........................Do we continue to fight for the madman, or do we try to defect to an angry, bitter, vindictive allied army, which would hardly trust us. The choice may be a loss in any event, but it is my belief we defect, what say thee?" (Pregnant pause with seething anger abound) Von STrapt: DEFECT Hager: DEFECT BRAUNSER: DEFECT HAUSER: DEFECT MEIRHAUSEN: DEFECT VAN BOREN: DEFECTLoudly) So, the deepest Core of the German Army, of the proud Vehrmacht,the 'Special Forces and Veterans,' the men responsible for at one time winning the War for the Axis, decide in unison to defect and surrender, and decide to present it to the men, awaiting any rebuttals.... The minutes stretched into hours, and the hours to dawn, when word let out that 5 men, supposedly SS operatives sabotaged the ammo dump and fled before dawn. The sabotage was stopped, but the word was out, that ROMMEL'S 5TH PANZER WAS PLANNING TO DEFECT AS A BLOCK of 10,000 men, 35 Panzer and Tiger Tanks, 20 half Tracks, 15 Artillery, and 15 Trucks...The order was given to break camp, load weapons, and place a blue ribbon on your uniform in case we run into unfriendly German Troops on our now quest to reach the American lines through 5 SS Panzer Divisions in front of us.....The Sun rose, the air was wet, the fog came in, and the Battalion started down the road to Stuttgart, and confront what was ahead.....Copyright, Farley Malorrus 2007, 2008. All Rights Reserved.




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Tags: Farley Malorrus, Dancing, Dancing Bear, Supertramp, Comedy, Laughing

TONGUE TWISTERS PASSED ON, Acting SCI FI

The Tongue Twister Database
This page was originally created to give a good group of tongue twisters to people in speech therapy, to people who want to work on getting rid of an accent, or to people who just plain like tongue twisters. I hope you enjoy them.

Due to popular request, I have altered the format of the page. This was done because many people have felt the previous formats to be hard to read. I also hope to add new content to the page soon, I promise.

Also, please forgive me if I do not respond to your e-mail. I do read every e-mail sent to me, but rarely have time to send responses. In fact I welcome suggestions on how to improve the page, since I think the current look is dull and am not sure the best way to make it more interesting. If you have an idea, send it to me at craigstaley@yahoo.com and I will consider it.

Visit the Tongue Twister Bookstore for books on English language resources.

Check out the credits page to see my sources. I hope that I have mentioned everyone.

Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.

A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.

Unique New York.

Betty Botter had some butter,
"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
it would make my batter bitter.
But a bitof better butter--
that would make my batter better."

So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
and she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter
bought a bit of better butter.

Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.

Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?

A big black bug bit a big black bear,
made the big black bear bleed blood.

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.

One smart fellow, he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, they all felt smart.

Pope Sixtus VI's six texts.

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The shells she sells are surely seashells.
So if she sells shells on the seashore,
I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

Mrs. Smith's Fish Sauce Shop.

"Surely Sylvia swims!" shrieked Sammy, surprised.
"Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink."

A Tudor who tooted a flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to their tutor,
"Is it harder to toot
or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

Shy Shelly says she shall sew sheets.

Three free throws.

I am not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.
I am only plucking pheasants
'cause the pheasant plucker's running late.

Sam's shop stocks short spotted socks.

A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Knapsack straps.

Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches?

Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.

A bitter biting bittern
Bit a better brother bittern,
And the bitter better bittern
Bit the bitter biter back.
And the bitter bittern, bitten,
By the better bitten bittern,
Said: "I'm a bitter biter bit, alack!"

Inchworms itching.

A noisy noise annoys an oyster.

The myth of Miss Muffet.

Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
Just because See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw!

Friendly Frank flips fine flapjacks.

Vincent vowed vengeance very vehemently.

Cheap ship trip.

I cannot bear to see a bear
Bear down upon a hare.
When bare of hair he strips the hare,
Right there I cry, "Forbear!"

Lovely lemon liniment.

Gertie's great-grandma grew aghast at Gertie's grammar.

Tim, the thin twin tinsmith

Fat frogs flying past fast.

I need not your needles, they're needless to me;
For kneading of noodles, 'twere needless, you see;
But did my neat knickers but need to be kneed,
I then should have need of your needles indeed.

Flee from fog to fight flu fast!

Greek grapes.

The boot black bought the black boot back.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,
and chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

We surely shall see the sun shine soon.

Moose noshing much mush.

Ruby Rugby's brother bought and brought her
back some rubber baby-buggy bumpers.

Sly Sam slurps Sally's soup.

My dame hath a lame tame crane,
My dame hath a crane that is lame.

Six short slow shepherds.

A tree toad loved a she-toad
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a two-toed tree toad
But a three-toed toad was she.
The two-toed tree toad tried to win
The three-toed she-toad's heart,
For the two-toed tree toad loved the ground
That the three-toed tree toad trod.
But the two-toed tree toad tried in vain.
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree toad bower
With her three-toed power
The she-toad vetoed him.

Which witch wished which wicked wish?

Old oily Ollie oils old oily autos.

The two-twenty-two train tore through the tunnel.

Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep.
The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed
shilly-shallied south.
These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack;
sheep should sleep in a shed.

Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.

Three gray geese in the green grass grazing.
Gray were the geese and green was the grass.

Many an anemone sees an enemy anemone.

Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

Peggy Babcock.

You've no need to light a night-light
On a light night like tonight,
For a night-light's light's a slight light,
And tonight's a night that's light.
When a night's light, like tonight's light,
It is really not quite right
To light night-lights with their slight lights
On a light night like tonight.

Black bug's blood.

Flash message!

Say this sharply, say this sweetly,
Say this shortly, say this softly.
Say this sixteen times in succession.

Six sticky sucker sticks.

If Stu chews shoes, should Stu
choose the shoes he chews?

Crisp crusts crackle crunchily.

Give papa a cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup.

Six sharp smart sharks.

What a shame such a shapely sash
should such shabby stitches show.

Sure the ship's shipshape, sir.

Betty better butter Brad's bread.

Of all the felt I ever felt,
I never felt a piece of felt
which felt as fine as that felt felt,
when first I felt that felt hat's felt.

Sixish.

Don't pamper damp scamp tramps that camp under ramp lamps.

Swan swam over the sea,
Swim, swan, swim!
Swan swam back again
Well swum, swan!

Six shimmering sharks sharply striking shins.

I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought wasn't the thought
I thought I thought.

Brad's big black bath brush broke.

Thieves seize skis.

Chop shops stock chops.

Sarah saw a shot-silk sash shop full of shot-silk sashes
as the sunshine shone on the side of the shot-silk sash shop.

Strict strong stringy Stephen Stretch
slickly snared six sickly silky snakes.

Susan shineth shoes and socks;
socks and shoes shines Susan.
She ceased shining shoes and socks,
for shoes and socks shock Susan.

Truly rural.

The blue bluebird blinks.

Betty and Bob brought back blue balloons from the big bazaar.

When a twister a-twisting will twist him a twist,
For the twisting of his twist, he three twines doth intwist;
But if one of the twines of the twist do untwist,
The twine that untwisteth untwisteth the twist.

Untwirling the twine that untwisteth between,
He twirls, with his twister, the two in a twine;
Then twice having twisted the twines of the twine,
He twitcheth the twice he had twined in twain.

The twain that in twining before in the twine,
As twines were intwisted he now doth untwine;
Twist the twain inter-twisting a twine more between,
He, twirling his twister, makes a twist of the twine.

The Leith police dismisseth us.

The seething seas ceaseth
and twiceth the seething seas sufficeth us.

If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor
who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the
doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor
the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

Two Truckee truckers truculently truckling
to have truck to truck two trucks of truck.

Plague-bearing prairie dogs.

Ed had edited it.

She sifted thistles through her thistle-sifter.

Give me the gift of a grip top sock:
a drip-drape, ship-shape, tip-top sock.

While we were walking, we were watching window washers
wash Washington's windows with warm washing water.

Freshly fried fresh flesh.

Pacific Lithograph.

Six twin screwed steel steam cruisers.

The crow flew over the river
with a lump of raw liver.

Preshrunk silk shirts

A bloke's back bike brake block broke.

A pleasant place to place a plaice is a place
where a plaice is pleased to be placed.

I correctly recollect Rebecca MacGregor's reckoning.

Good blood, bad blood.

Quick kiss. Quicker kiss.

I saw Esau kissing Kate. I saw Esau,
he saw me, and she saw I saw Esau.

Cedar shingles should be shaved and saved.

Lily ladles little Letty's lentil soup.

Amidst the mists and coldest frosts,
with stoutest wrists and loudest boasts,
he thrusts his fist against the posts
and still insists he sees the ghosts.

Shelter for six sick scenic sightseers.

Listen to the local yokel yodel.

Give Mr. Snipa's wife's knife a swipe.

Whereat with blade,
with bloody, blameful blade,
he bravely broached his boiling bloody breast.

Are our oars oak?

Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager
imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?

A lusty lady loved a lawyer
and longed to lure him from his laboratory.

The epitome of femininity.

She stood on the balcony
inexplicably mimicing him hiccupping,
and amicably welcoming him home.

Kris Kringle carefully crunched on candy canes.

Please pay promptly.

On mules we find two legs behind
and two we find before.
We stand behind before we find
what those behind be for.

What time does the wristwatch strap shop shut?

One-One was a racehorse.
Two-Two was one, too.
When One-One won one race,
Two-Two won one, too.

Girl gargoyle, guy gargoyle.

Pick a partner and practice passing,
for if you pass proficiently,
perhaps you'll play professionally.

Once upon a barren moor
There dwelt a bear, also a boar.
The bear could not bear the boar.
The boar thought the bear a bore.
At last the bear could bear no more
Of that boar that bored him on the moor,
Andso one morn he bored the boar--
That boar will bore the bear no more.

If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot
To talk ere the tot could totter,
Ought the Hottenton tot
Be taught to say aught, or naught,
Or what ought to be taught her?
If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot
Be taught by her Hottentot tutor,
Ought the tutor get hot
If the Hottentot tot
Hoot and toot at her Hottentot tutor?

Will you, William?

Mix, Miss Mix!

Who washed Washington's white woolen underwear
when Washington's washer woman went west?

Two toads, totally tired.

Freshly-fried flying fish.

The sawingest saw I ever saw saw
was the saw I saw saw in Arkansas.

Just think, that sphinx has a sphincter that stinks!

Strange strategic statistics.

Sarah sitting in her Chevrolet,
All she does is sits and shifts,
All she does is sits and shifts.

Hi-Tech Traveling Tractor Trailor Truck Tracker

Ned Nott was shot

and Sam Shott was not.

So it is better to be Shott

than Nott.

Some say Nott

was not shot.

But Shott says

he shot Nott.

Either the shot Shott shot at Nott

was not shot,

or

Nott was shot.

If the shot Shott shot shot Nott,

Nott was shot.

But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott,

then Shott was shot,

not Nott.

However,

the shot Shott shot shot not Shott --

but Nott.

Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.

Three twigs twined tightly.

There was a young fisher named Fischer
Who fished for a fish in a fissure.
The fish with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in;
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fischer.

Pretty Kitty Creighton had a cotton batten cat.
The cotton batten cat was bitten by a rat.
The kitten that was bitten had a button for an eye,
And biting off the button made the cotton batten fly.

Suddenly swerving, seven small swans
Swam silently southward,
Seeing six swift sailboats
Sailing sedately seaward.

The ochre ogre ogled the poker.

If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
It's slick to stick a lock upon your stock,
Or some stickler who is slicker
Will stick you of your liquor
If you fail to lock your liquor
With a lock!

Shredded Swiss chesse.

The soldiers shouldered shooters on their shoulders.

Theophiles Thistle, the successful thistle-sifter,
in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,
thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb.

Now.....if Theophiles Thistle, the successful thistle-sifter,
in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,
thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb,
see that thou, in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,
thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.

Success to the successful thistle-sifter!

Thank the other three brothers of their father's mother's brother's side.

They both, though, have thirty-three thick thimbles to thaw.

Irish wristwatch.

Fred fed Ted bread, and Ted fed Fred bread.

Cows graze in groves on grass which grows in grooves in groves.

Brisk brave brigadiers brandished broad bright blades,
blunderbusses, and bludgeons -- balancing them badly.

Tragedy strategy.

Selfish shellfish.

They have left the thriftshop, and lost both their theatre tickets and the
volume of valuable licenses and coupons for free theatrical frills and thrills.

Tags: Tongue Twisters