Thursday, April 5, 2007
THings THAT MAKE YOU GO hmmmm? by Farley Malorrus
Things to make you go hmmmmm
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
-Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
-Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
-Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
-Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
-Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
-Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
-Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
-Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
I-f people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
-Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
-Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
-Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
-Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
-Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
-How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
-When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
-Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
-In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
-How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
-The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you
Farley Malorrus
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