Thursday, April 5, 2007

THings THAT MAKE YOU GO hmmmm? by Farley Malorrus

Things to make you go hmmmmm
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

-Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

-Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

-Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

-Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

-Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

-Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

-Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

-Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

I-f people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

-Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

-Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

-Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

-Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

-Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

-How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

-When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

-Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

-In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

-How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

-The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you

Farley Malorrus

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